Kirstie Alley No Longer Rivals Yokozuna

June 14th, 2006Verner Von HemmingwayCelebrity Gossip

It’s Official: Kirstie Alley no longer requires an industrial scale to weigh herself. According to a spokesperson for Jenny Craig, the actress has reached her target weight after losing 69 pounds. Alley had apparently “hoped to lose enough weight to feel comfortable modeling a bikini on pal Oprah Winfrey’s TV show in October, but she’s hit her target four months ahead of schedule.” NOTE TO SELF: avoid watching daytime television during the month of Octorber. [source]

While I will miss the obese Kirstie Alley, I’m sure we haven’t seen the last of her. Chances are the overweight version will resurface sometime after Alley becomes depressed from the realization that the only reason people cared to talk about her was because she was disgustingly fat… my god, what a vicious circle.

4 Comments Add a comment

4 Comments to “Kirstie Alley No Longer Rivals Yokozuna”

Anonymous June 14th, 2006 at 6:43 am

hahaha..nice yokozuna reference.
Anonymous June 14th, 2006 at 4:03 pm

i don’t care about her now. and she is still fat.
Anonymous June 18th, 2006 at 2:09 am

Couldn’t you have referenced a real sumo wrestler, like Kitanoumi or Chiyonofuji? Yokozuna isn’t even a real sumo! It’s just a rank of sumos!

Idiot!
Anonymous June 18th, 2006 at 2:11 am

Did some searching: Your “Yokozuna” has a real name, and it is RODNEY.

Add a Comment